#Fem11 Pt 2: Challenging Sex Object Culture

This seminar was really popular, and held by the activist group OBJECT, which opposes the sex object culture. That is, the objectification of women – through lapdancing clubs, sexist advertising, and the media in general. What is objectification? The following words and phrases explain how women are objectified/the characteristics of objectification:

• Instrumentalism (eg, only to provide sexual gratification)
• Denial of autonomy
• Inertness
• Fungibility (that women are interchangeable)
• Violability
• Ownership
• Denial of subjectivity (dismissive of feelings, perspective)
• Reduction to a body
• Reduction to appearance (as discussed at the Endangered Bodies seminar)
• Silencing

The group have already worked on several campaigns including staging a protest against lapdancing clubs, and this hilarious anti-lad’s mags stunt in Tesco (best to watch from 1min30 as the beginning is the preparation):

The group, along with the Fawcett Society were also heavily involved in the campaign for the reclassification of lapdancing venues as “sexual entertainment venues”. This meant stricter regulation on who could and who couldn’t open lapdancing clubs – they were previously classified in the same group as coffee shops. Their latest campaign is ‘Stop Press Porn’ and aims to stop porn from being so easily accessible in supermarkets etc. In this video, which was also shown in the seminar, the spokeswoman for Object argues about lad’s mags with a former editor of one:

While I generally agree with their point about porn and about objectification, and I quite like the way they have tackled some issues (the pyjama Tesco protest is hilarious and creative) there’s something I can’t really put my finger on that I’m not sure about. Sorry, that’s a really useless analysis of something that was very interesting and very prevalent in society. Reducing women to objects is restrictive and harmful but I think that this comes across wrongly as prudish, and that perhaps some of the language used is inaccessible and hard to follow. When we say objectification, what we mean is the general societal idea that women are to be looked at, to be touched, and admired, and they should be passive and inert. Of course, this strips women of their autonomy and ability to make decisions, it is part of a wider culture that says it is ok to rape, and that it’s ok to do whatever you want to a woman as long as you get your rocks off. So you see, it’s not a good thing at all.

I don’t really have much to add to this really, other than to raise the point that this is an issue, and very harmful to women (and men in some circumstances – the best example I can give is that teenage boys don’t really learn how relationships work, how to respect their female peers – because in porn and in lads magazines, the sex is on tap and freely available). I realise that there is an argument that most people realise films are not realistic but I dismiss this entirely because a) this is probably most people’s first introduction to sex when they are at an impressionable age b) sex, and the reality of it, is rarely discussed in mainstream education and media. My sex education film was one video of a man and woman rigidly laying side by side holding hands, then having awkward, technical sex (man on top of course) – and then it cut to a cartoon image of the mechanics of sex. So who is going to make feminist porn or sex education videos purely for the purpose of adding it to the school curriculum to show boys/young men how sex really works? Who is going to sit down and explain to a bunch of teenaged boys that women come in all different sizes and shapes, that pornstar bodies are not the norm? Exactly. We are setting them up for disappointment and encouraging misogynistic attitudes.

The Feminism discovery

I am big fan of debate on Twitter. I love outlining a topic, throwing out ideas and seeing how different people – people who I have come to consider, very loosely, as ‘friends’ – view things.

So imagine my surprise when I started talking about the definition of feminism, and how on earth men can possibly self-define as feminist, and nearly drowned in responses. Our views of things are often dictated by our experiences. I have often been wary of the tag ‘feminist’, and suspicious of the motives of men who define themselves as such. To me, feminism has long been shorthand for ‘sleeping around and not caring’. Promiscuity shows defiance in the face of outdated social beliefs, right?

At one part in the debate, I was linked to this article, a review of Living Dolls: The Return of Sexism by Natasha Walter. I would like to personally shake the hand of the prostitute quoted in that article, for being so brutally honest in saying to Walter:”I believed what everyone said, that all this promiscuous sex was so empowering.” This is spot-on. I don’t want to get my bra out and burn it just yet, and these attitudes may seem archaic. You may laugh, to think that this kind of pressure is still put on young women; that it’s exaggerated. Not so. Growing up as a girl is extremely difficult – you have to tread the line of being liberal and feeling free to have sex with whomever you choose, and not having so much sex with so many different people that you’re a free-for-all. It’s the ‘slag-frigid’ line, if you will.

I discovered during this twitter conversation that my view of what counts as feminism had largely been propagated to me by men who are “feminists”. I don’t doubt they genuinely believe in equality between the sexes – but they use this as an excuse and a way to cajole women into bed. Ironic, huh? It’s not an explicit “I’m a feminist – let’s have sex”, it’s more an implied suggestion that because they believe in equality and empowerment, they are somehow doing you a favour – helping to empower you, as it were – by sleeping with you. My tweet about that was met with disgust and disbelief. Yet as a helpful follower added: “‘I want to help you find yourself‘ is another one. Sorry, I didn’t realise I was lost and a fuck would ‘find’ me.” I realised I was definitely not alone..

There’s a fair few ways in which sexism is absolutely inherent in society, and it’s been this way ever since I can remember. On a regular basis, women have to deal with sexism across the scale, from the explicit “You can’t play Guitar Hero, you’re a girl!” to the implied and downright manipulative “Well, everyone else I shag is a feminist and they think it’s ok…” In between you have to put up being slapped on the arse or otherwise touched in clubs; men leering at you as you drink at a bar (Heaven forbid you should want to go out drinking with your friends and not want sex!) and people trying desperately…Oh-so desperately, to get you into bed. This is hassle I can really do without.

My response is usually to just sigh, roll my eyes and try and ignore it. I’m exploding with rage inside, but I don’t shout. Actually, I don’t even usually bat an eyelid, let alone say anything. Why? Because society has told me that this is the burden of being a woman. This is what will happen to you for the rest of your life and there’s nothing you can do about it. There’s no point in arguing back because they might get aggressive. So just sit and take it, and hopefully they will get bored and leave you alone.

So as outraged as I am that a report by a Tory think-tank – led by a woman nonetheless! – has concluded that the battle for equal payment for women has been won, it’s hardly that surprising. Somebody please tell Dr Catherine Hakim that past progress does not mean we can sit on our laurels, have a cup of tea and take a break. (And then do the washing up afterwards, before making sure the house is spotless…) Perhaps this is the best we can do (though I doubt it) with regards to legislation but why actually stop striving to improve? This is the kind of ridiculously backwards attitude that leads to stagnation in society. This is the kind of attitude that lets young girls down. We need to constantly push for better, in every aspect of policy; in every aspect of our lives.

Don’t settle for “Well, we’ve come so far, this is as good as it gets” when it comes to policies, sexism and gender equality legislation. And don’t sleep with anyone who says they’re trying to help you ‘find’ you or empower you. You can ‘find’ and empower yourself quite sufficiently without them.