Is misandry a myth?

I was talking about racism a while ago with a friend – the kind of friend who really makes you think; one that forces you question your world view, introduces new concepts and challenges you to stand up for your beliefs. I said that years back, when I was walking home from school, I was the victim of a ‘racist attack’. “What do you mean racist attack?” he said. I explained was walking home from school when I got called “white prostitute”, “white bitch” and more by a group of 3 black boys, only slightly older than me.

“That’s not racist abuse, Soph” he said. And he rationalised it for about ten minutes, and I sat there wondering why he probably had a point; it dawned on me that actually it probably wasn’t racially motivated. If I had been a white man, I would not have been shouted at – I am almost certain of this. Had I happened to have been non-white, would I have been shouted at? Possibly. And then I realised, the part that scared me the most, the part that really angered me about that interaction was that I was referred to as a ‘bitch’ and a ‘whore’ – words with sexual connotations. Words that belittled me as a woman. I realised, had they just shouted “Hey, whitey!” would it have bothered me? Nope.

Someone tweeted me the other day saying that if anyone accuses me of misandry (it happens to me a lot) then they are inherently sexist, no questions asked. So, this kind of idea got me thinking. Is it possible for an oppressed minority section of society (by any means – race, gender, sexuality etc) to be ‘hateful’ towards the other and for it to be as unacceptable as it is for those in the majority to do so?

The idea that misandry is not actually possible is not a new one. I suppose for me it makes sense most when you consider that every interaction between two people does not take part in a social ‘vacuum’ free of assumptions, pressures, individual background and history, and a whole host of other variables. If interaction took place in an ideal society, where “isms” did not exist; where individuals are treated as individuals, then clearly this would not be the case – clearly it would be misandrist to say certain things, and the word would carry as much weight as the term ‘misogyny’. But we live in a society where women are consistently put down, not by individuals, but by their culture; by most men they meet (without a thought as to that potentially being the case!) and where women are stereotyped as characters of fantasy… Princesses in pink, ruthless bosses, etc. When men are misogynistic to women, it contributes to a wide range of experiences carried down for generations and perpetuated throughout her life in everything she does. When the situation is reversed it’s hardly comparable.
Much like me and my ‘racial abuse’ story: Why would it matter for someone to call me white? I am. I’ve never had the burden of being oppressed because of my race. And so men have never had the burden of being born a woman.

Sociologist Allan Johnson says: “Given the reality of women’s oppression, male privilege, and men’s enforcement of both, it’s hardly surprising that every woman should have moments when she resents or even hates ‘men’.” This suggests that not only is it reasonably normal for women to feel exasperated at their treatment in society, but that misandry is actually a valid response to oppression that women face. And they are right to do so, as they are restricted in varying degrees from doing what they want to in the same way that men are allowed to.

What’s more, the accusation of misandry tends to come out when discussing feminism and womens’ issues. It’s more of a cynical attempt to turn the very real and very prevalent ongoing victimisation and subordination of women into ‘what about the menz?!‘ It’s a classic derailment tactic when you don’t have a leg to stand on: Turn a genuine social problem around and make it about you, personally. Ignore the fact that we are not discussing your personal issues here, and continue. Tell me how bloody unfair it is that some girl you met five years ago broke your heart, and doesn’t even send you Christmas cards anymore. What a bitch she was, eh?

The fact is that misandry is an insult resorted to when there is very little capacity for honest and truthful debate. Why, otherwise, would you offer such a retort that generally shuts down debate and, ironically, proves the point that women do not feel listened to? It’s a way that, to me, men signal that they are not willing to even see it from a woman’s point of view – it is the clue that they have lost the argument and they are no longer willing to engage. Shutting down debate because you are a woman and he is a man… It’s sort of like mansplaining.

In looking for definitions of misandry, even the Urban Dictionary definition of misandry points to Allan Johnson’s work, which posits that misandry has no place in a patriarchal society. He states that “mainstream patriarchal culture offers no comparable antimale ideology (for women), and so their resentment is based more on experience as a subordinate group and men’s part in it.” (From The Gender Knot: Unraveling our patriarchal legacy) In other words, we are oppressed by a group of ‘men’ (in very general terms) so we are entitled to dislike this vague group of ‘men’ – and it’s not misandry to do so.

I could probably write a lot more about this and I may well do in the future. But to surmise: to say that women are misandrists is to completely ignore the clear gender divides in society, ignore thousands of years of marginalisation, and ignore social and cultural traditions that seek to dominate women, sometimes in the most subtle of ways. And it makes you a twit to boot.

About A Girl
Mostly writes on Half The World Is Watching. She is interested in and writes about feminist issues, politics and activism. An 80s child at heart, she loves old things, computer games, and keeping up with the development of social media.

43 Responses to Is misandry a myth?

  1. Tim Abbott says:

    Interesting post, can’t really post what I’m thinking though, because it’s too convoluted.

    Some thoughts though, I believe that equality is the ideal for society and so I will never seek to justify anyone being attacked for being a member of a group that they had no choice but to be a member of (ok, short of gender reassignment for every man).

    Another thought that occured, where do transgender men lie in terms of how they are treated by a misandrist? They do have experience of being born as a woman but are not any more.

    Lastly, and possibly a bit OT… a good friend once told me that my belief in equality was the same as feminism, but I’ve heard more than a few misandrous and insulting generalisations aimed at men who say they are feminists.

    Thoughts?

    • Vincent says:

      To your last point, I think that falls under feminism as an idea vs feminism in practice.

      As for transmen, they can be treated as women or men depending on their appearance, or treated poorly because they don’t fit the binary.

  2. Tim Abbott says:

    That last sentence should read, “aimed at men by women who say they are feminists”

  3. jander says:

    the reason why ‘misandry’ is not part of the popular lexicon like ‘misogyny’, is because misandry is implied throughout.

    a recent example of pervasive misandry is the media’s coverage of Catherine Kieu sexual mutilation of her husband because he filed for divorce. the coverage was comical and light-hearted and studio audiences laughed at the thought of the man’s penis being put into a garbage disposal. ‘he deserved it!’ and ‘he learned his lesson!’ were common statements. the pervasive misandry within the culture says this type of violence against a man is justified for the crime of filing for divorce.

    any you ask, is misandry a myth? only a misandrist would ask such a question.

    • a censored, inconvenient truth says:

      lol. masculist hypocrisy as usual. firstly, it’s not as if the majority of people actually believe castration is a justified punishment for divorce. it was just a non-PC joke. just like violence against women and rape jokes are common within male dominated environments that women find offensive. do masculists find them offensive too or are they the same ones telling them and/or laughing it up? somehow i doubt our great ‘true egalitarians’ (LOL) make a fuss at all. if it’s so unbearable then why do americans and especially masculists not like hate speech laws and are against political correctness (AKA simple politeness)? the same masculists who tell feminists that they’re paranoid, overreacting and worrying too much and they should just ‘get over it’ cry in unison at the mythical misandry all the while copying the same statements and tactics of feminism except for men-only.

      • Sally says:

        You’re a freak! The fact that you think a man’s genitalia being cut off and thrown into a garbage disposal is not only funny, “a censored, inconvenient bigotry” but that your ignorant and disgusting format of avoiding what this person was really speaking about! You’re sick in the head! Your discussion doesn’t make a modern media’s laughter at such a gross act any less fuled with hate! Go to hell! You’re sick in the head!

      • Borg Warner says:

        I’m male, been male for quite a while, I’ve worked in so called male environments with other males, but in my 34 years of being male I have never joked about or heard other males joke about rape and violence towards women.
        I don’t know where you get this weird idea that men find rape funny

      • Cody says:

        I’m a man and I don’t make rape jokes about women. It is cruel.

    • a censored, inconvenient truth says:

      also, LOL at your proving.of the OP’s point. it didn’t take long at all. “What’s more, the accusation of misandry tends to come out when discussing feminism and womens’ issues. It’s more of a cynical attempt to turn the very real and very prevalent ongoing victimisation and subordination of women into ‘what about the menz?!‘ It’s a classic derailment tactic when you don’t have a leg to stand on: Turn a genuine social problem around and make it about you, personally.” the masculist dictionary of silencing techniques is one to behold. any man who doesn’t agree with what you say is a: mangina, faggot, white knight, queer, gay, cuckold/cuck, submissive, etc.and any woman is a: bitch, slut, cunt, bull dyke/dyke, slut, whore, skank, lesbian (and endless derivatives of the term), man-hater, misandrist, etc. – more false accusations, conspiracy theories and hypocrisy from mr manliness, the usual masculist nonsense.

      • ard says:

        a censored, inconvenient truth, the same person who has been vandalizing the misandry section on the Urban dictionary website.

        You have been brainwashed by gender studies and radical feminists, please seek help..

      • joe says:

        Misandry in any form is wrong just as is mysogony. of course leave it to a left wing femenist to make light of the isues of her perceived foe. Only women are human beings ( valued for simply existing ) men are burdened with being human do’ers ( valued for what they do ) I have no doubts that were women in charge we would still be in the early 1900′s. almost all inventions are by men. women today dont want equality ….they want preforential treatment. two people apply for the same job. one male one female. if the company doesnt have enough female employees to satisfy standards the female gets the job even if the male is more qualified. Look at our current education system. It focuses almost entirely on females. and as a consiquence males are left behind.

      • a censored, inconvenient truth says:

        “I have no doubts that were women in charge we would still be in the early 1900′s. almost all inventions are by men.” hello sexism. it didn’t take long for mr masculist to come out with his deceptive male supremacist bullshit. OFC men invented everything in a patriarchal society. when you don’t give women the right to education, own property or to work and compel them to either be prostitutes or stuck at home as some man’s betty crocker house slave sexbot, it gets kind of hard to get creative. it’s funny now that after women have overtaken men in educational attainment masculists start complaining about a ‘feminised’ education system. more tin foil hat nonsense with absolutely no proof whatsoever from the same people who said nothing when women had lower performance.

  4. a censored, inconvenient truth says:

    i forgot to add ‘feminazi’ and ‘radical feminist’ to the list of false accusations. apparently anyone who doesn’t subscribe to masculism must either be stupid, brainwashed or evil. typical masculist bigot. anyone who wants to discover the truth about masculism should google ‘NAWALT’ and read the blog entries and discussions on leading masculist websites. read about how all women who aren’t masculists are guilty of ‘misandry’. (ofc, all men who aren’t involved in rape prevention aren’t rapists though, etc.) find out which movement is built on irrational prejudice and sexist stereotyping claims masculists and MRAs pretend to abhor for all, but in reality only when it’s against men. once again.

    • joe says:

      you should watch the youtube videos man woman myth. To ignore mens issues and say that for all intent and purposes any masculine views are wrong is….well…wrong

    • joe says:

      but you are commiting misandry. the minute you clump all men into a negative category. And as far as websites go there are countless feminest websites that bash men. SCUM manifesto, books t-shirts. BIGGESR DIFFERENCES OF MISOGYNY AND MISANDRY ARE……..MISOGONY IS ILLEGAL LAWS ARE IN PLACE AGAINST IT AND IT IS NOT A WIDELY ACCEPTED OPPINION> MISANDRY HAS NO LAWS IS ACCEPTED AND IN FACT ENCOURAGED> More men die of unnatural causes than women by almost 300% So dont go claiming women are systematicly killed. men are systematicly killed on a much larger scale.

      • a censored, inconvenient truth says:

        what a load of made-up cack. i haven’t even referred men once, only masculists. lol at you mentioning ‘scum manifesto’ a woman who was abused throughout her childhood and was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and depression, who never led any feminist movement and who would’ve died a nobody, had it not been convenient for masculists to bring up her name every time they want to smear feminists as ‘radicals’ or ‘man-haters’ and claim ‘collective responsibility’ as well as the handful of cherry-picked quotes taken out of context. nasty bunch of lying PUAs, lifelong virgins, ex-divorcees the lot of you. misogyny isn’t illegal in the USA. there are no hate speech laws. men dominate all spheres of power from the military, government, economy, reproductive rights, religious, social, etc. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12205365 “Smoking linked to earlier male deaths”

      • a censored, inconvenient truth says:

        oh, i forgot to add abrahamic religious fanatics and right-wing nutjobs who make breivik look open-minded.

      • Clovis says:

        ‘Men are killed on a much larger scale’

        Yeah, by each other.

    • joe says:

      your ignorance and one sided sight astound me.get real. You bash us we bash you….BOTH our causes are just. get off your woe is me kick and get the real facts. women rape young boys all the time yet they get a slap on the wrist. three women sexually assault a man in a hotel room disfigure him sexually and the get comunity service? Justice is justice is justice. equality? men dont have equality today. women have seen to that. Dont make this a war of each side minimizing the other….we are bigger than that…but…..you attack ny cause i sure will attack yours. wanna work together for some reall equality then im all for it.

      • a censored, inconvenient truth says:

        women rape men all the time? is this opposite world where women instead of men are born with physical advantage of being taller and stronger and greater capacity for aggression on average? unless what you’re complaining about is women engaging in sex with men under the age of consent. which is funny considering many masculists believe ‘age of consent’ laws to be ‘misandry’.(along with any other law which make its more difficult for them to stick their dick in someone vulnerable) LOL. predatory misogynistic paedophile scum. NO CREDIBLE BODY whatsoever believes that men are raped as much as women (whether the rapist is male or female and including child sex abuse and prison rape). also, men commit almost all rapes inc. child sex abuse which itself is a small percentage of overall rapes.. i’m not against people who are interested in men’s issues. i agree with many of them and there’s no inconsistency with feminism which is for equality for all. no more genital mutilation, conscription, etc. parental leave, no more homophobia, gender dichotomy and gender roles (which affect custody). what i don’t agree with is masculist scum.

      • a censored, inconvenient truth says:

        anyone who wants to read more about masculism’s views towards statutory rape google: ‘age of consent misandry’. read about how they think it’s okay to pursue and have sex with young teenagers, how it’s ‘healthy male sexuality’.and that therefore men should be able to do whatever at women’s expense. the same people encourage men to shun voluntary equal relationships and instead sexually exploit them through prostitution and international dating agencies who specifically target women from impoverished regions such as asia and eastern europe who are desperate to escape poverty.

    • hodgz says:

      im very curious where you come up with “OFC men invented everything in a patriarchal society. when you don’t give women the right to education”
      you should know (being a feminist and all) that marie curie had degree`s in chemestry and physics won a nobel prize and i think started her own school?

      marie curie
      She studied at Warsaw’s clandestine Floating University and began her practical scientific training in Warsaw. In 1891, aged 24,
      Her achievements included a theory of radioactivity (a term that she coined[4]), techniques for isolating radioactive isotopes, and the discovery of two elements, polonium and radium.[5]
      Under her direction, the world’s first studies were conducted into the treatment of neoplasms, using radioactive isotopes. She founded the Curie Institutes in Paris and Warsaw, which remain major centres of medical research today

      so please do tell me when women were kept from education?was it before this? because you know alot has been invented since then and surprize surprize not many women have had alot to do with it…….

      • Clovis says:

        It’s a simple numbers game. While a proportion of women always had access to some level of education it was not on the same scale as men until relatively recently. How many tens of thousands of men received a good standard of education for every Shakespeare, Einstein or Aristotle. The average man has about as much in common them as he has with Marie Curie. People of exceptional ability are rare in any group, gender or otherwise.

        There have been women artists, writers, scientists and philosophers over the last 2000 years, (a quick google search will find the for you). Their work is not highlighted in any mainstream curricula which is where most peoples education begins and ends. You have to do further research yourself.

        These women often came from wealthy backgrounds which meant that although they may have been unable to access formal higher educational institutes they could avail of private tutors or family libraries. The prohibitive cost of books in those days made it impossible otherwise for anyone who wished to even teach themselves. For example in the 18th century a popular novel would have cost the equivalent of E400 today. Academic books even more.

      • hodgz says:

        that could just as easily be said of serfs before law and order your wealth would be measured by what you could take from someone else and keep from being taken( yes women were at a disadvantage in this) but make no mistake in thinking women didnt act thru proxy, not as often the victim as feminists would have you think

        education has always been expensive but women as far as i can see have had access as their wealth allowed,, you say

        “It’s a simple numbers game. While a proportion of women always had access to some level of education it was not on the same scale as men until relatively recently. How many tens of thousands of men received a good standard of education for every Shakespeare, Einstein or Aristotle. The average man has about as much in common them as he has with Marie Curie. People of exceptional ability are rare in any group, gender or otherwise.”

        i say how many men died in proportion to women to secure the access to the wealth that payed for those that were educated, how many women died to protect the grounds on which the very schools were built? how many women died in wars over money land oil ect?

        the reward of education was and should still be based on expected risk to protect the institutions that provide that education imo….

        currently education is being facilitated for women thru funding on a scale that has never been seen before,, calling women a minority and giving them funding as such is a joke, women make up more than half the workforce more than half the population control 85% of spending and make up more than half the electorate in the US,,, minority how? minority in prison?

        while i see what you are saying you fail to notice the price paid by men to secure the wealth that affords education and you also fail to disprove my original point,, can you in recent history show me where women were denied by law higher education or where it was impossible for them to pursue it as claimed by the author? i also think that by the time anyone had a “right” to an education everyone had a right to an education men and women both….

        in fact you may say men kill other men but its a dog eat dog world out there and if your the largest dog someone else wants to make your piece smaller, this goes for women the same as men (women still fancy rich married men from what i can see now if they were as subdued and peaceful as most say why create the drama for themselves by stealing a man who is a better prospect than one who is single?) wouldnt they just fight things out on the same scale if only women lived on the planet? we will never know will we?

  5. Pingback: Misandry as a myth (an addendum) « The World Is Watching

  6. Kevin says:

    The greatest trick feminism has accomplished, is convincing the men of the world that misandry isn’t real. That when an entire audience erupts into laughter, when 4 feminists ridicule a man who’s wife cuts off his penis for the crime of wanting a divorce, that it isn’t misandry. That arresting a 12 year old boy when his 16 year old babysitter molests him, that this isn’t part of a deep seated hatred for men. The examples are more numerous than your excuses.

    Feminism is to misandry what the KKK was for racism.

  7. joe says:

    amen to that kevin. The feminists want to focus in on women murdered. ok. but the number of men murdered dwarfs that of women. they dont care about that though because its men. only a man worries or will fight for a woman and die for her. a woman will only die for herself.

    • a censored, inconvenient truth says:

      yes more men are murdered than women, but of all the women who are murdered it’s almost always a man who kills her. of all the men murdered, they’re mostly by other men, NOT WOMEN. men commit nearly all violent crimes, in every country in the world and it’s been this way for all recorded history. SO OF COURSE WOMEN FOCUS ON PREVENTING MEN FROM HARMING THEM. sort your own gender out and then women won’t have to keep repeatedly asking men to kindly stop killing, battering, torturing and raping them whenever men arbitrarily feel ‘the cunt deserved it’.

  8. Sam says:

    I think there is space to talk about the concept of misandry, though I probably wouldn’t take it from the same approach that previous commenters have.
    Misogyny includes rejecting a woman’s capacity to perform, act or dress in a fashion which patriarchal society deems to be masculine. So what of men who enjoy doing the dishes, working with children or men who cry? They’re equally shunned or ridiculed by society. Because the male is the focus of the exclusion, is this misandry? Or does it remain misogyny because the association is that the actions are feminine and so bad? The claim that “men can’t be oppressed by the system, they can only benefit from it!” is wrong and dangerous to propagate because it devalues the life choices of people who choose not to follow societies norms of the “ideal man”, and instead infers that their existence is invalid as someone who associates their gender as being male.

    With that said, by no means would I claim men as a whole are anywhere near as oppressed as women in patriarchal society. But it’s still important to remember that gender-normativity and hetero-normativity still represent a denial of allowing people as whole to become who they want to be, instead forcing them into paths or roles they feel detached and alienated from, whether those persons happen to associate as male or female. I have no doubt that this also links with the effect that society has on the oppression of the LGBTQ community. Often I find it sad that there doesn’t seem such an instant and prevalent awareness that feminist and LGBTQ struggles interlink and in many ways fight the same beast.

    The term misandry does get thrown around a lot to derail from important discussion or to counter-blame someone who calls a person out, etc etc. That doesn’t mean the response should be to completely reject the potentiality of the concept, but that it needs substantive rethinking to make discussion on the matter can be productive.

    Also, while I agree with a censored, inconvenient truth in being against the use of “Feminazi”, I must disagree regarding “radical feminist”. I think you’d have to be mad in modern society to NOT be radical about feminism. Fuck ‘em.

  9. a censored, inconvenient truth says:

    LGBTQ rights/queer theory and feminism are interconnected and allied ideologies which are simultaneously attacked by patriarchy due to their rejection of heterosexism, gender binary, gender roles and it’s assertion that masculine traits are innately superior to feminine. when a gay man is victimised it’s because the homophobes (whether male or female) see him as a lesser person and a deviant for accepting what they believe to be inferior feminine acts such as being penetrated or submissive. it’s the same when a boy is bullied for liking pink, ballet, lack of aggression, sensitivity, etc. it’s a male who’s discriminated and abused, but their acts aren’t an attack on all individual men, they’re rooted in misogyny and a rigid belief in gender roles. when a lesbian, transgender or genderqueer is ‘bashed’ for taking on superior masculine traits it’s because it’s a deviation.against the heterosexist hierarchal system and seen as competition against men which to them is unacceptable. also, i agree with your statement about radical feminism, i identify with it myself. i mean that it’s another accusation masculists use to try and silence anyone who doesn’t agree with their male-centric bigotry whether others see themselves as one.

  10. joe says:

    thats a stretch if ever I saw one. Again here we go with the if i disagree with you its misandry and if you disagree with me its misogyny. I guess we must just agree to disagree. niether side seems capable to see the plight of the other. the big difference between us is this…I fully admit misogyny exists…its wrong and I will not minimize it. You however keep stating that misandry is not that bad and its ok for men to be discriminated against in school work and the media becuase its only men. Minimizing it does no good for society as a whole.

  11. a censored, inconvenient truth says:

    “thats a stretch if ever I saw one.” said the straight white male masculist. i never denied that men suffer from inequality in our patriarchal society. please quote where i did. also, i’ve made it clear that feminism is against it, but i don’t think it’s as severe as misogyny in our society just as i wouldn’t believe a white person being called a ‘cracker’ by a black person in a white dominated society would be as serious as a white person calling a black one a ‘nigger’.

    men aren’t discriminated in either education or employment (WHICH MEN DOMINATE). there’s no such thing as affirmative action in the UK and in most western nations. i wish there was. also, all your claims of media discrimination are no different to women’s except that it’s straight white men, NOT WOMEN who are disproportionately represented within all mediums and who control it to describe all minorities and disempowered groups in accordance to their own interests. once again, if you really want to stop male inequality you have to address the members of your own empowered gender rather than use it to make false accusations, smear and scapegoat feminism. which is the real masculist agenda. while you’re at it you can tell your fellow masculists to stop being casually sexist and homophobic, predatory, dehumanising, violence promoting hypocrites since you “don’t minimise misogyny” and see it as equally wrong as ‘misandry’.

    it’s difficult to go a day without hearing or seeing MANY incidences of casual chauvinism both in real life and in media against women whether it’s simple objectification, male-centric double standards (e.g. ‘slut shaming’, calling a woman a bitch, cunt, dyke for being assertive or tough, etc) or just hearing people diminish a woman based on her gender because that’s how women are valued and treated in everyday culture despite the practically useless and unenforced legislative victories feminists won in the 70s. attitudes haven’t changed and are constantly defended by a patriarchal culture which tells women to ‘stop complaining’, ‘get a sense of humour’, ‘deal with it’, ‘shut up bitch’, ‘go and make me a sandwich/get some dick/are you on your period?’,etc every time they’re challenged. which is a stark contrast to the claims of ‘misandry’ you make which are specific claims that occur occasionally within the media or in the courts. such as people light-heartedly laughing at a man getting kicked in the groin (as if men don’t laugh at women getting ‘bitchslapped’ and degraded on TV). it’s not like every time you see videos involving a man on youtube there’s a woman who doesn’t like him calling him a ‘walking abortion’, ‘sperm donor’, or even that he’s a rapist because he’s a man is it? how about you try that with a woman instead. there’s LITERALLY ALWAYS ONE comment calling her a ‘cum dumpster, slut, whore, bitch, cunt, etc’ or making disrespectful sexual propositions or descriptions no matter what she does. .

  12. joe says:

    First off…I am black. Yet another example of you assuming something. That is what it seems aparrant. You twist and turn words into lies and assumptions. Shame on you. See another point of veiw. its worthless for me to discuss anything with you because all you do is lie. god bless and hope you have a wonderful life.

    • a censored, inconvenient truth says:

      my mistake. said the straight black* male masculist, i’m fully open to discussing anything, explaining and substantiating my claims or presenting sources. you’re the one who says nothing but rhetoric and false accusations yet expect everyone to “see another point of view”.

      • Kevin says:

        It’s funny how frequently you have to rephrase, or qualify your statements. Why not just be honest and open about your hatred for men and be done with it. I have known your type all my life, the ones who want try to hide their petty hatred but just lack the talent for doing so. I really don’t know why you bother, we know you hate men, and I’m fairly certain you don’t think your claims fool anybody. So why bother?

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  14. Pingback: “Naming the enemy”: more on ‘misandry’ « hagocrat

  15. Women Own the Family says:

    Be a man, and take your child to story time at the library in the middle of the day, and feel the stay at home Moms treat you like you’re a pedophile for invading “their world.”

    Be a man, and go to divorce court and have your ex-wife rest her case for taking your children away from you on vague accusations about “your poor decisions with the children.”

    Be a man, and take a year off to stay at home with your children, and have every woman you know ask if you’ve found a real job yet.

    Be a man, and experience what it’s like to be regarded as a fool and an oaf within every domain of parenting.

    We live and work for our families, but carry no respect from the world on matters of the heart. The “softer” sex is always deferred to here.

    Give up your double standards if you want to stop living under them.

  16. Sudheer says:

    There are a good number of women who take out their misandric rage on their male children/siblings. The boys when they mature become perverts and could direct the anger against females (partners/female children/ crime victims). This goes on. Perhaps this could be the reason for the demand for abusive porn for either sexes.
    It is easy to get caught up in this vicious cycle and react, and be bound to it forever. One needs to stand aside and witness one’s own feelings and thoughts to be break free.

  17. ReasonableDem says:

    “I realised, had they just shouted “Hey, whitey!” would it have bothered me? Nope.”

    -I believe in the left-wing 101 handbook, it specifically instructs you not to impose your prejudices, likes, dislikes, etc on others, and especially never to assume what might offend or what might not for other people, even in your demographic. When a black, female conservative (no matter how intelligent) says that she’s not offended by certain things or states a certain political preference or whatever, many feminists are very quick to jump on her and state that not only does she not speak for everyone in her group, but that she’s a race and gender traitor, etc. How a white woman can state that a black woman is a race traitor I’ll never know, but it is what it is.

    Most feminists who I know have never set food in a non-gentrified ghetto neighborhood, but as someone who grew up in one, I can tell you that people are ridiculed for being white every day. So who are you to say whether that should hurt their feelings or not? Just because it’s more unusual has no bearing on whether it counts as discrimination. And the greater social structure of the US means nothing to a 15 year old white kid who has never stepped food out of his black neighborhood. And what if they live in a society like in Yemen or China, where the dominant social class is not white? If I grew up on the streets of Tokyo being called round-eyes every day of your childhood, would I then receive feminists’ permission to say that I was racially discriminated against? This kind of stuff is not accounted for in third wave feminist theory, because that states that white males are this ubiquitous hive-mind that has set out to crush every other group across every continent and era.. a concerted effort by myself, Napoleon Bonaparte, and Donald Trump to destroy the world. Of course there have been greedy and bloodthirsty people in history, but every race has produced people (yes, always men) who’ve killed tens of millions.

    “It’s a way that, to me, men signal that they are not willing to even see it from a woman’s point of view – it is the clue that they have lost the argument and they are no longer willing to engage. Shutting down debate because you are a woman and he is a man… It’s sort of like mansplaining.”

    -C’mon, you know that there are feminists who do that all the time. If I as a male want to have any conversation with a strong-willed feminist, the second the argument gets into territory she’s uncomfortable with.. everything screeches (literally) to a halt. If a straight person, a white person, a male, a christian (any majority demo in the US) holds an opinion she doesn’t like on abortion, gender relations, race, immigration, whatever.. it’s “you’re a bigot, you’re privileged, you’ll never understand, blah blah blah”. And the most vocal of this camp are upper middle class white girls. Arguments don’t have genders or races. They exist on their own merit. Unfortunately, some people get scared or lazy when the debate gets tough (MRAs and feminists both).

    “Accusations of male bashing and man hating work to discredit feminism because people often confuse men as individuals with men as a dominant and privileged category of people. Given the reality of women’s oppression, male privilege, and some men’s enforcement of both, it’s hardly surprising that EVERY woman should have moments when she resents or even “hates” men.” (Allan Johnson, “The gender knot,” p. 107

    - Okay, try this on for size.. “Accusations of black bashing and black hating work to discredit the klan because people often confuse blacks as individuals with blacks as the category of people in America with by far the highest rates of committed murder”. Do you realize how awful that sounds? It may be true that parts of our society are still geared more for men, and it may be true that statistically, black people are way more likely to murder than other American demographics.

    But what Johnson is saying is that it makes no sense for people to get offended, so long as you stereotype the group and don’t specifically speak ill of individuals. So it’s okay to say that men in general are oppressive and loathsome and are plotting against women, just as long as you don’t attack individuals. But, once again, by that logic it’s okay to say that black Americans are killers in general, as long as you don’t name names. Does that sound awful and unfair to you? Good, I hope so.

    MRAs have no problem at all with equality. I’d argue the average MRA wants it more than the average feminist. MRAs have among them crazy individuals, just like you have radfems. It’s the personal attacks that get old. And the same straw man arguments that they claim are used against feminism, feminists use against MRAs so that they don’t have to actually argue. They say that anybody who thinks men can possibly be disadvantaged in our society must be a misogynist. This is obviously not true, but it’s an easy way for them to brush off people who might put them in a tight spot in a debate.

  18. pvblivs says:

         In today’s society (here in the west) women are not held down. In fact, they are given special advantage. Most violence is against men.. But officials are contemplating a “violence against women act” because the only violence they care about is that against women. A woman can be attacking a man with a knife or a gun. And that’s considered okay. But if he dares to defend himself, he goes straight to jail. Most college graduates are women. Many times, less is expected of them to get their grades and their degrees. But somehow it’s “not enough.” Is the mere fact that some males are still allowed to attend college “oppressing women”?
         Our society has always placed women’s needs drives, interests, and safety above those of men. Look at the discussion on “reproductive rights.” People insist that a woman needs “choices” if she decides she doesn’t want to handle the financial burden of being a mother. As for the man (you did know that there were two people involved, right?) it “too bad; he made his choice when he decided to have sex.” Workplace deaths are over 90 percent male and the only concern is how to protect women from the problem.
         Misandry is hard for people to see because it is so prevalent. You don’t notice anything unusual. It’s just the way it is. It’s the water the fish swim in. Misogyny exists. But it is easily recognized because it is so out of the norm. Racism in the late 1800′s and early 1900′s wasn’t recognized as such. It was just the norm. We see that racism clearly today because it is no longer the norm. We do not see misandry because it is so prevalent. We don’t even think about it.

  19. scott says:

    There are a number of falaciesabout and against feminism. There are too many men unwilling to do much but lay blame at its feet for their own personal unhappinesses. With the use of the netz by radical male groups that are notoriously anti woman, I think women had better not take any modern gains for grantes. Look at Virginias legislature or NorthCarolinasfor that matter to see it. Most Freemasons are old,white Republicans and they are decidedly anti woman Islam uses the netz to both recruit and to spread anti semetic disinfo and anti west rhetoric. The end reaults of any of them will be the unsoing of womens freedoms because strong, free women are a primary quasi evidence that the world has gone wrong somehow.

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